Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Don't Let the Baby Make Coffee, Either

You've read the funny-ha-ha about baking a cake with a toddler, right? (note from me: I was going to link to the story, but would you believe I cannot find it online??? Unreal. Send me the link, if you know where it is.) Well, today I'm going to tell you how to make coffee with one.

Walk bleary-eyed to coffee machine, toddler chattering non-stop at an ear-splitting level behind you.

Rinse old coffee out of pot. Clean out yesterday's filter and left-over grounds.

Turn off machine toddler has turned on. Send toddler to fridge to get coffee grounds.

Stop toddler from putting grounds directly into machine basket.

Put filter in.

Get vacuum to clean up coffee grounds toddler has sprinkled on floor when "missing" the filter.

Guide toddler's hand in putting rest of scoops into filter.

Turn coffee machine off again.

Add water.

Wipe up counter from toddler's "help" adding water.

Allow toddler to finally turn machine on.

Send toddler to get cream from fridge and spoon.

Put sugar back from the very teetering edge of the counter.

Lift toddle off of counter and get OWN cup (breakable) from cupboard.

Push cup back from teetering edge.

Push cup back again.

Carry toddler to different area of house until coffee is done perking.

Allow toddler to put sugar in bottom of cup.

Wipe sugar off counter.

Wipe toddler tongue marks off counter where toddler "wiped" sugar off counter.

Dump 4-5 tablespoons of sugar from cup back into sugar bowl.

Pour hot coffee into cup.

Wipe coffee off counter from toddler moving cup at last second before you poured.

Allow toddler to stir.

Wipe counter from coffee sloshes.

Allow toddler to add cream.

Pick up cream carton and thank the Lord the toddler likes to screw caps back on before bumping carton over.

Clean up more stirring sloshes.

Allow toddler to lick spoon.

Enjoy coffee.

Wonder why sugar sticks to spoon when making the second cup. Oh, yeah. Toddler licked it..... sigh

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